I sit here as sort of a last resort today. Lately I've been feeling like that of a zombie. Zoned out, blank state, existing silently. Sleep deprivation and illness only adds to such zombie-like demeanor. I didn't want to be home right now. Not because I'm fighting with my dad. I'm not. I just don't want to be here. I wanted to drive aimlessly downtown, without any sort of destination, looking at the tall buildings and lake as I pass by. The only thing that kept me from doing so is the fact that my phone is nearly dead, which means I would be without a navigator. Then I'd be lost. And I would want to be lost, but I'd also want to be able to get home quickly as soon as I decide to become unlost. But lost I would remain without my navigator. When I pulled up in my driveway, the thing I wanted most in the world was for me to be laying in a field, watching the planes from General Mitchell land and take off. I could fall alseep, even, and wake-up just fine. But I'd want someone next to me. I'd want a cute, deep, smart, driven boy that would understand me to be next to me, to fall asleep with me. Or maybe I'd just fall asleep and he'd lay there next to me, just thinking about things, ocassionally looking over and/or brushing a strand of hair from my face. He wouldn't think I'm weird at all for wanting to lay there and look at the sky and watch the planes. Maybe he'd take me there by surprise, even. We could just talk and listen. Anything, nothing, and everything. We'd cover it all. That's how we'd spend our days, at least until the winter months. I don't want to hold my breath though. I mean, what are the chances of that happening? Of course if I want it to happen, it won't. Only in the movies. Not in reality. Maybe I need to start living in reality. One problem: it's boring and lonely. I don't even really have anything to say on here. I just fear that if I stop typing, then there will absolutely be nothing else for me to do. I could clean my room...Possibly. I could read more of New Moon. I really love that book. It makes me sad, though. Life would be so much more itneresting if things like vampires and werewolves actualy existed. Call me weird, I don't care. And plus, I envy Bella's relationship with Jacob. I want one like that. Hmph. Again, let's not hold my breath.

I guess this is today's goodbye, then. Peace.